#10 - Kissy Face!

John Bytheway, “What Do Kisses Mean?” New Era, Oct. 2004, 39

Bruce Monson, “Speaking of Kissing,” New Era, June 2001, 32

Counsel from the Prophet

“The Lord has made us attractive one to another for a great purpose. But this very attraction becomes as a powder keg unless it is kept under control. It is beautiful when handled in the right way. It is deadly if it gets out of hand.
“It is for this reason that the Church counsels against early dating. This rule is not designed to hurt you in any way. It is designed to help you, and it will do so if you will observe it.
“Steady dating at an early age leads so often to tragedy. Studies have shown that the longer a boy and girl date one another, the more likely they are to get into trouble.
“It is better, my friends, to date a variety of companions until you are ready to marry. Have a wonderful time, but stay away from familiarity. Keep your hands to yourself. It may not be easy, but it is possible” (New Era, Jan. 2001, 13).
—President Gordon B. Hinckley



The Facts
by Bruce Monson

I recently completed a doctoral dissertation that examined factors that help young people stay morally clean. I used data supplied by LDS and non-LDS juniors in two different high schools. One of the most crucial factors in staying morally clean for these young people was choosing to wait until age 16 to date. While about 70 percent of those who did not date until they were 16 had avoided immoral behavior, more than 80 percent of those who reported dating before age 16 had become sexually involved enough to require a bishop’s help for repentance.
The same kind of statistics held true for those teens who had steady dating partners. Of the 308 11th graders surveyed, 95 reported having a current boyfriend or girlfriend. Of those 95, only six had never been involved in making out (or kissing for a long time), and more than half of them had transgressed the laws of chastity. For all of the students polled, not dating until 16, avoiding steady dating, attending church weekly, and having close relationships with parents and family were important factors in keeping themselves morally clean.
As a seminary teacher, I have occasionally seen young people trying to fit their actions into the letter of Church guidelines while missing the spirit of this counsel. If young people are going to avoid dating until they are 16, and avoid exclusive dating relationships in high school after 16, they should also avoid what might be considered exclusive boyfriend/girlfriend relationships before 16.
Gospel topics: marriage, morality, standards


To learn more about dating, kissing, and showing love, read the following articles in the Gospel Library at www.lds.org: “That We May Touch Heaven” (Ensign, Nov. 1990) by President Thomas S. Monson, “Love Takes Time” (Ensign, Nov. 1975) by Elder Marvin J. Ashton, and “Speaking of Kissing” (New Era, June 2001) by Bruce Monson.

#9 - Breaking Up

In this episode we share the talk:
M. Gawain Wells, “Breaking Up without Going to Pieces: When Dating Doesn’t End in Marriage,” Ensign, June 1982, 58

As well as the following quotes:

Sheri Dew:
There Is Power in the Atonement of Jesus Christ
Until I was in my thirties, I thought the Atonement was basically for sinners--meaning that it allowed us to repent. But then I suffered a heartbreaking personal loss and began to learn that there was so much more to this sublime doctrine.
My solution initially to my heartbreak was to exercise so much faith that the Lord would have to give me what I wanted--which was a husband. Believe me, if fasting and prayer and temple attendance automatically resulted in a husband, I'd have one.
Well, the Lord hasn't even yet given me a husband; but He did heal my heart. And in doing so, He taught me that He not only paid the price for sin but compensated for all of the pain we experience in life. He taught me that because of His Atonement, we have access to His grace, or enabling power--power that frees us from sin; power to be healed emotionally, physically, and spiritually; power to "loose the bands of death" (Alma 7:12); power to turn weakness into strength (see Ether 12:27); and power to receive salvation through faith on His name (see Mosiah 3:19). It is because of the Atonement that, if we build our foundation on Christ, the devil can have no power over us (see Helaman 5:12).
BYU Speech, 9 December 2003


Of All Things
Rx for Loneliness
Gordon B. Hinckley:
“To you … who wish to be married I say this, Do not give up hope. And do not give up trying. But do give up being obsessed with it. The chances are that if you forget about it and become anxiously engaged in other activities, the prospects will brighten immeasurably. …
“Let us face the fact that in this life some of you will marry, some of you may not. For those of you who do, it must be a total commitment, without reservation. It must involve total and unequivocal loyalty. It must be a covenant for eternity, a companionship that will require constant attention and nurturing.
“For those who do not marry, this fact of life must be faced squarely. But continuous single status is not without opportunity, challenge, or generous recompense.
“I believe that for most of us the best medicine for loneliness is work and service in behalf of others.”
—President Gordon B. Hinckley, “A Conversation with Single Adults,” Ensign, Mar. 1997, 60–61.
“Of All Things,” New Era, Oct. 2004, 42

Elder Wirthlin's Last Testimony

As most of you may know, Elder Joseph B. Wirthlin passed away recently. Every time an apostle passes away, I always go back and listen to or watch their last conference talk. I think Elder Wirthlin's message is a powerful last testimony, and I think his message is well needed.

If you'd like to hear his whole talk, click here. Otherwise, here's a video SethAdamSmith put on Youtube of the highlights from his talk.

#8 - Shipbuilding 101

We read two talks for this one:

Susan W. Tanner, Make Dating Smooth Sailing, New Era Oct 2004

Brad Wilcox, “Marriage Prep 101,” New Era, Oct 1999