#10 - Kissy Face!

John Bytheway, “What Do Kisses Mean?” New Era, Oct. 2004, 39

Bruce Monson, “Speaking of Kissing,” New Era, June 2001, 32

Counsel from the Prophet

“The Lord has made us attractive one to another for a great purpose. But this very attraction becomes as a powder keg unless it is kept under control. It is beautiful when handled in the right way. It is deadly if it gets out of hand.
“It is for this reason that the Church counsels against early dating. This rule is not designed to hurt you in any way. It is designed to help you, and it will do so if you will observe it.
“Steady dating at an early age leads so often to tragedy. Studies have shown that the longer a boy and girl date one another, the more likely they are to get into trouble.
“It is better, my friends, to date a variety of companions until you are ready to marry. Have a wonderful time, but stay away from familiarity. Keep your hands to yourself. It may not be easy, but it is possible” (New Era, Jan. 2001, 13).
—President Gordon B. Hinckley



The Facts
by Bruce Monson

I recently completed a doctoral dissertation that examined factors that help young people stay morally clean. I used data supplied by LDS and non-LDS juniors in two different high schools. One of the most crucial factors in staying morally clean for these young people was choosing to wait until age 16 to date. While about 70 percent of those who did not date until they were 16 had avoided immoral behavior, more than 80 percent of those who reported dating before age 16 had become sexually involved enough to require a bishop’s help for repentance.
The same kind of statistics held true for those teens who had steady dating partners. Of the 308 11th graders surveyed, 95 reported having a current boyfriend or girlfriend. Of those 95, only six had never been involved in making out (or kissing for a long time), and more than half of them had transgressed the laws of chastity. For all of the students polled, not dating until 16, avoiding steady dating, attending church weekly, and having close relationships with parents and family were important factors in keeping themselves morally clean.
As a seminary teacher, I have occasionally seen young people trying to fit their actions into the letter of Church guidelines while missing the spirit of this counsel. If young people are going to avoid dating until they are 16, and avoid exclusive dating relationships in high school after 16, they should also avoid what might be considered exclusive boyfriend/girlfriend relationships before 16.
Gospel topics: marriage, morality, standards


To learn more about dating, kissing, and showing love, read the following articles in the Gospel Library at www.lds.org: “That We May Touch Heaven” (Ensign, Nov. 1990) by President Thomas S. Monson, “Love Takes Time” (Ensign, Nov. 1975) by Elder Marvin J. Ashton, and “Speaking of Kissing” (New Era, June 2001) by Bruce Monson.